1. Remove the pressure on performance
“The penis-vagina model of Australia Escort Service sex comes with pressures, such as having an orgasm at the same time or the idea that an Escort Agency Melbourne orgasm should happen with penetration. With these strict expectations come a pressure on performance that ultimately leads many to feel a sense of failure and frustration.
Instead, try to expand your concept of Melbourne CBD escorts sex to include anything that involves close, intimate connection with your partner, such as sensual massages, taking a nice shower or bath together, reading an erotic story together, playing with some fun toys… the possibilities are endless.
And if orgasm happens, great, and if not, that’s OK too. When you expand your definition of sex and lower the pressure on orgasm and penetration, the anxiety around performance dissipates and your satisfaction can escalate.”
— Chelsea Holland, DHS, MS, sex and relationship therapist at The Intimacy Institute
2. Handling conflict
It’s not what you fight about — it’s how you fight
“Researchers have found that four conflict messages are able to predict whether couples remain together or get divorced: contempt, criticism, stonewalling (or withdrawal), and defensiveness.
Together, they’re known as ‘The Four Horsemen.’ Instead of resorting to these negative tactics, fight fairly: Look for places where each partner’s goal overlaps into a shared common goal and build from that. Also, focus on using ‘I’ versus ‘you’ language.”
— Sean Horan, PhD, associate professor of communication studies at Texas State University
3. Try a nicer approach
“Research has shown that the way a problem is brought up determines both how the rest of that conversation will go and how the rest of the relationship will go. Many times an issue is brought up by attacking or blaming one’s partner, also known as criticism, and one of the killers of a relationship.
So start gently. Instead of saying, ‘You always leave your dishes all over the place! Why can’t you pick anything up?’ try a more gentle approach, focusing on your own emotional reaction and a positive request.
For example: ‘I get annoyed when I see dishes in the living room. Would you please put them back in the kitchen when you’re finished?’”
— Carrie Cole, MEd, LPC-S, certified master trainer and director of research at The Gottman Institute
4. Identify your “good conflicts”
“Every couple has what I call a ‘good conflict.’ In long-term relationships, we often feel that the thing you most need from your Escort Agency Box Hill partner is the very thing he or she is least capable of giving you. This isn’t the end of love — it’s the beginning of deeper love! Don’t run from that conflict.
It’s supposed to be there. In fact, it’s your key to happiness as a couple — if you both can name it and commit to working on it together as a couple. If you approach your ‘good conflicts’ with bitterness, blame, and contempt, your relationship will turn toxic.”
— Ken Page, LCSW, psychotherapist and author of Deeper Dating: How to Drop the Games of Seduction and Discover the Power of Intimacy
5. Take time apart
“A friend taught me that no matter how in love you are or how long you’ve been together, it’s important to take an exhale from your partnership.
Hang out with girlfriends until late in the evening, take a weekend trip to visit family, or just spend time ‘doing you’ for a while. Then when you go home to Yours Truly, you’ll both be recharged and ready to come together even stronger.”
— Amy Baglan, CEO of MeetMindful, a dating site for people into healthy living, well-being, and mindfulness
6. Don’t abandon yourself
“There is one major cause of relationship problems: self-abandonment.
We can abandon ourselves in many areas: emotional (judging or ignoring our feelings), financial (spending irresponsibly), organizational (being late or messy), physical (eating badly, not exercising), relational (creating conflict in a relationship), or spiritual (depending too much on your partner for love).
When you decide to learn to love yourself rather than continue to abandon yourself, you will discover how to create a loving relationship with your partner.”
— Margaret Paul, PhD, relationship expert and co-creator of Inner Bonding
7. Create a fulfilling life
“Like many people, I grew up believing that marriage required self-sacrifice. Lots of it. My wife, Linda, helped me see that I didn’t have to become a martyr and sacrifice my own happiness in order to make our marriage work.
She showed me that my responsibility in creating a fulfilling and joyful life for myself was as important as anything else that I could do for her or the kids.
Over the years, it’s become increasingly clear to me that my responsibility to provide for my own well-being is as important as my responsibility to others.
This is easier said than done, but it is perhaps the single most important thing we can do to ensure that our relationship will be mutually satisfying.”
— Charlie Bloom, MSW, relationship expert and author of That Which Doesn’t Kill Us: How One Couple Became Stronger at the Broken Places
The bottom line
Sometimes we get so hung up on our expectations that we miss how beautiful our relationships are — and the lessons they’re teaching us. Realize that every relationship has value, no matter how long it lasts.
“There’s no such thing as a failed romance. Relationships simply evolve into what they were always meant to be. It’s best not to try to make something that is meant to be seasonal or temporary into a lifelong relationship. Let go and enjoy the journey.”
— April Beyer, matchmaker and dating and relationship expert
